Tag Archives: be present

4/5: Being Present

I’m not one for cheesy lines or jokes. I cringe often internally (and externally) when people say them. The  subversively annoying thing about cheesy jokes, is that they always contain a nugget of truth. And often the truth is so obvious that you don’t feel the need to hear about it, especially when it’s wrapped up in some kind of Mickey-Mouse type body language of a huge wink, a massive thumbs up and an enormous smile that is dripping with sentiments of “oh, let me tell you!”

No. I certainly do my best to avoid cheese (haha, literally and figurtively..#irony #DifferentTopic)

To me, one of the cheesiest lines in the whole world is, “your presence is presents enough”. And, unfortunately and fortunately, It is one of the cheesiest yet truest sayings I have ever heard. Because really ,that is what this journey of walking with friends in tough times is about: being present, being available, giving of yourself in some way to show your love.

In my last 3  blog posts, I talked about very specific ways you can be present to your friend during this time of sadness and confusion. Like I’ve also mentioned in all three, there is no cookie cutter mould for grief. There is no cookie cutter mould for what someone may or may not like, and there is no perfect friend. All anyone can do is their very best, have a willing heart, and love like no one’s business.

One of the biggest aspects of being present to someone is to just allow them to be where they are at. I remember there were several instances during my intense grief period where I just cried. I cried all the time at Church, I cried at the store, I cried at home, I cried every time I hugged my son. It was an emotional time, with alot of irrational feelings and ideas. Everything mattered to me, and some of what mattered, didn’t make sense.

Some of the most wonderful people in my life simply allowed me to cry when I needed to cry, even though it probably made no sense to them. When others thought I should be passed the allotted grieving time, they were there …letting me cry. Never before had I felt myself feel so empty and yet so full at the same time.

As I’m sure many of you know, readers, sometimes words are not necessary. Sometimes touch is not necessary. Sometimes gifts are not necessary.

Sometimes it is simply the loving presence of someone being willing to sit with you and, if even for a moment, shoulder the burden you are carrying. 

And sometimes, dear griever, it is immeasurably hard to share your burden with someone else. I promise you, even if it doesn’t seem like it in the moment, letting someone who loves you into the depths of the darkness can create even just a peephole of light and love in your heart.

Jesus, who even if you are not a believer you could probably admit was a noble person, carried the heaviest burden. And even He knew he couldn’t shoulder it alone.

Go and be present to someone today!



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