One Young Mum: A story of love beyond all measure

(Reposted from http://oneyoungmom.com/2013/05/10/my-testimony/)

 

I decided I would post a copy of my speech here.  The testimony I gave doesn’t really talk about being a young mom.  I was speaking to a group of pro-life advocates and I focused my speech on being pro-life and my journey to keep my little baby Marcus…

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Firstly, I would like to thank Rebecca and Clarissa for inviting me to speak tonight and for planning this event.  The work that you do at NCLN is amazing and so many young people, including myself have benefited from it, thank you.

I can’t really pin point a specific time in my life when I realized that I thought killing babies was wrong.  It is something that I have always known.  I’m a very loving person and I have always loved children.  No child is pro-abortion, everyone is born knowing that killing babies is wrong.  Gradually as young adults we are taught that it is a woman’s right and that it isn’t even a baby.  So many people begin to loose that loving side of them that knows a fetus is a human being.  Despite growing up in a secular, pro-abortion family and going to a secular, pro-abortion high school, I seemed to have not been brainwashed to think that murdering a pre-born baby is a choice.  For that, I consider myself lucky and blessed.

Christopher and I found out I was pregnant in July of 2012, I was just shy of my 20th birthday.  When we found out, we were happy, we had created a life, and it was beautiful.

After after that initial 30 minutes, things started to set in.  I wasn’t scared, I wasn’t terrified, I was petrified.  I had no money, I knew nothing about being a mum, I was only half way through my undergrad, I wasn’t married, and I still needed to tell my pro-abortion parents.

I spent weeks stressing, crying, distancing myself from my parents before I told them.

But finally my mum guessed that I was pregnant and everything had to come out.  She e-mailed me asking me when she was at work one day.  I told her I was and she sent my dad to talk to me.  When he came to talk to me I was surprised, I expected him to start yelling, but instead he gave me a hug.  He was almost in tears, and HE was apologizing to me!  He was saying how sorry he was that I hadn’t felt like I could come to him for help and support.  I was amazed and so relieved that my dad was supporting me and I had not expected it at all.

Then I realized why he was giving me this support.  He went on saying: “your mum and I were in a similar situation, we were stressed, things were hard for us…we had to do it…she had an abortion and she’s fine…we’re happy.”  I was so shocked, my mum and dad had had an abortion.  My very own mum and dad had had an abortion.  They had exercised their right to choose by killing my youngest sibling.  Nothing I ever did could get him back.  At that point I knew that I couldn’t only be pro-life and silent any more, I needed to be pro-life, proud, and I wanted to do something about it.

Over the next few weeks my parents began to try to coerce me into having an abortion.  They told me I had no money and I couldn’t provide for my child.  They were going to cut me off financially and no longer pay for my education.  They were going to cut me off emotionally  and they wouldn’t be there for me when I needed their love and support.  They made me feel alone.

So I left home and stayed with Christopher’s family for a while.  But even there I wasn’t safe, Christopher’s mum told me that Christopher was going to leave me.  She told me I was too young, that I would hate being a mum and I would hate my baby and blame my problems on him.  She said I wouldn’t be happy and my life would be ruined if I kept him.  She told me I was alone.

Throughout this whole time Christopher stayed by my side.  He stood up to my parents and to his mother.  He stood up to the doctor who told me I should have an abortion because I was too young and small.  He protected Marcus and I when we need to be protected.  So thank you.

People who are pro-abortion constantly try and isolate the mother to make her feel alone.  They made me wonder how could I possibly care for a child all on my own.  They were right, I have no money, I don’t have a post-secondary education, I’m not married, things aren’t easy.  But I didn’t need to kill the baby inside me because of that!  Not once did my parents or Christopher’s mum mention adoption!

Do people not even consider adoption to be an option any more!  Christopher and I did think about adoption, maybe me more than him.  But as my belly grew and people started to actually think of the human inside me as a baby, I began to get the support from family that I needed to keep him.  My parents, Christopher’s mum, Christopher, my friends from Queen’s Alive, and my other friends helped me keep my child.  THey provided me with emotional support and with the things I needed to care for a baby.

Everyone at Queen’s Alive reached out to me as a friend, not just as a pro-lifer trying to save a baby.  That was the most important for me, because I needed to feel loved and looked after.  I wanted to bring Marcus into the world in a joyful manner, I didn’t want to feel ashamed and I didn’t want people to think I was ashamed.  Towards the end of my pregnancy, the only time I felt comfortable on campus was when I was at the Queen’s Alive meetings.  Otherwise I was just greeted with stares which made me feel so uncomfortable.  Nowadays, things have changed.  I walk around downtown Kingston and Queen’s campus with Marcus proudly, and we get greeted with smiles everywhere we go.

I can hardly even say the word abortion now that I am a mother.  It makes me sick.  I want to run around like a maniac screaming, it’s a baby and the baby is innocent!  I think about my sibling who was aborted.  Could I have done anything to save them?  I was young, but maybe if I had been more well behaved, maybe if I had helped my mum out more, could I have done anything?  How was this fair?  Where were the laws when my sibling was being brutally torn apart?  And where were the laws when my parents tried to back me into a corner trying to make abortion my only option?

When I first got pregnant, the system did not make me feel like I had a right to choose life for my son.

Thankfully, with the support of my friends from Queen’s Alive, the National Campus Life Network, the Sisters of Life in Toronto, my boyfriend Christopher, and all those who have been kind to me and supportive, I was not alone in the journey of pregnancy.  I am also not alone now.  It is ironic that those who will tell you to kill your baby in the womb, will also love him when he is born.  This is the anti-life paradox.  Thankfully, Marcus is now well-loved by his whole family, and I couldn’t be happier to have him. Thank You for listening.

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